Grief management and migration-related loss
“Grief is a painful, natural process of working through a loss, aimed at adaptation and the harmonization of our inner and outer state in response to a new reality.”
Grief management is a natural process experienced after a loss, when a person can no longer have someone or something important close to them. It may refer to both living beings (such as the loss of a person, the death of a loved one, or separation) and non-living elements, such as the loss of a job, money, a support system, or even one’s routine and way of life.
Grief is the way in which a person responds to loss and the effort they make to manage and integrate it.
Each individual has their own way of experiencing and expressing grief; however, there are some common emotional responses such as sadness, sorrow, and psychological pain. The impact of grief on a person’s life can be psychological, physical, spiritual, professional, or social. Its manifestations may range from physical pain, numbness, and palpitations to feelings of despair and meaninglessness, as well as a strong tendency toward withdrawal and social isolation.
If grief is not given the necessary attention in a person’s life and remains unresolved, it may lead to more lasting consequences such as depression, anxiety, panic attacks, physical disorders and illnesses, frequent accidents, substance use, and more.
Grief process and management
Grief management is often a painful and demanding process, during which seeking the help of a professional can be beneficial.
It is very important not to block the grieving process or the healthy expression of our emotions. Likewise, it is highly helpful to be able to seek support from people who can provide it or who are trained to do so.
Pain and grief, the memories that overwhelm us, and persistent thoughts about the person or what has been lost are signs that our system is trying to process a difficult experience and still needs to devote a significant amount of energy to it.
The stages of grief
There are five common stages of grief that people experiencing a loss go through, although they do not have the same duration for everyone and do not necessarily occur in a strict order.
- Denial
Initially, in order to protect themselves from the shock of the loss, the individual may question the reality of the event or experience confusion. - Anger
The pain and initial shock turn into anger, aggression, and emotional outbursts, as the individual tries to find someone to blame, either others or themselves, often feeling guilt. Questions such as “Why me?” or “Why now?” tend to dominate. - Bargaining
During this transitional stage, the individual begins to realize the loss and process it more cognitively than emotionally. They turn inward, seemingly trying to gain time and regroup in the face of the irreversible nature of the situation. - Depression
This form of depression is considered completely natural and is usually the most painful but necessary stage of the grieving process. The realization of the loss or death becomes fully acknowledged on both a cognitive and emotional level. The individual may experience intense feelings of sadness, melancholy, or despair and may withdraw from others. - Acceptance
At this stage, the individual gradually accepts the new reality and learns to live without the person or thing that was lost. It essentially involves the reorganization of one’s life and coming to terms with the loss. Sadness and pain may still be present, but they are often accompanied by a sense of peace and emotional calm.
Grief is considered to have been processed when we can think about what was lost without experiencing pain, or at least when we have learned to live, function, and remain present in our lives while coexisting with that pain.
In this demanding and difficult journey, it is very important to give ourselves permission to grieve what or whom we have lost, to take the time we need, and to allow space for unpleasant emotions and their expression. At the same time, it is especially important to strengthen self-care, patience, and self-compassion, and of course to seek the support we need from a professional.
Migration-related loss
The 7 Griefs of Migration & the Ulysses Syndrome
Migration, beyond being a social and economic process, is a deeply emotional and psychological experience. Just as when we lose a loved one and go through stages of grief, moving away from our country of origin is accompanied by multiple losses.
Specifically, migrants experience seven different types of grief (also known as the 7 griefs of migration):
- Loss of family and friends
- Loss of the native language
- Loss of culture: customs, religious elements, values
- Loss of land: landscapes, colors, smells, sensory memories
- Loss of social status: legal documents, employment, stable housing
- Exposure to racism and xenophobia
- Exposure to existential risks: dangerous journeys, threat of deportation, feelings of helplessness
These losses are not always visible or easily recognized, but they accumulate and affect the individual’s mental health.
In cases of intense and prolonged migratory grief, what is known as the Ulysses Syndrome may emerge—a form of reactive stress that occurs when the individual is unable to psychologically process these losses. This syndrome has certain distinctive characteristics:
- It is partial (the loss is not complete or final)
- It is recurrent, as nostalgia and difficulties persist
- It deeply affects the individual’s identity
- It is multiple, reflecting the 7 parallel losses
- It develops in stages
- It may have an intergenerational impact, transferring stress and pain to future generations
Understanding this psychological reality is crucial for supporting migrants. Recognizing the grief and mourning they experience is the first step toward their empowerment and adaptation to a new reality.